Saturday, September 11, 2010

I'm a Chicken

One of the things I don't like about myself is how much I dread and avoid conflict.  I don't think speaking up, telling the truth or confronting someone about a wrong thing they have said or done should be that hard.  But for me right now (and for the past 40 years), it is.

Funny how having kids brings us to confront our deepest fears and worst weaknesses.  Sigh.

Remember the issue about the insensitive Girl Scout volunteer?  Well, after all your lovely ideas and suggestions, I went ostrich and just let the whole thing pass.  However, the new scouting season approaches, and it turns out she's spearheading the group.

Time to put on my big girl panties.  I'm hosting the planning meeting at my house, and I'm going to invite her to come over 30 minutes early so we can talk about my concerns.  I figure the worst that happens can be either I die of fright or she quits working with the group.  Best case, she turns it around and gets some cultural and situational appropriateness or she quits working with the group. Mostly I'm hoping for something in between.

Parenting - the most intense skills development workshop ever.  Do you think I could put this on my resume some day?


Cerulean Bill said...

You had me at the very first sentence. You and me both! Someday, when I grow up, I'll be able to handle conflict in a thoughtful, adult manner.

Then again, since I'm in my sixties, perhaps I ought not to hold my breath?

The Bug said...

I'm so glad you posted this - I had already forgotten how I came across your blog. I know! That is REALLY sad - it's been less than a week, right? Sigh.

librarytigger said...

It's never easy to plunge right into something that makes us nervous (sick to our stomachs?)--but I just keep in mind that I HAVE to do this as my daughter's advocate (and also to show her how to be strong and handle things herself). Just keep the goals in mind and breathe.

Hopefully it will turn out like the housework tasks that we put off and dread thinking they're going to be SO horrible, and then they turn out to be no big deal after all. Sounds like your approach is wonderful and reasonable, and she probably jsut needed some sensitivity education. Good luck and Blessings.

hippiefemme said...

Hopefully she just didn't know how ignorant she sounds when she makes those sort of remarks. It's been my experience that most people don't realize they're being obtuse, and they continue to do so because no one tells them that there's a problem.

Even if she doesn't change her ways, you can know that you brought the problem to her attention, and that's all any of us can do.