Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Roller Coaster

Adoption is a roller coaster.

Tonight, while tucking Rosie in, she plaintively informed me that she felt sad.  Bracing myself for the usual complaint about lack of truly cool toys or begging to sleep in our bed, she told me she really wishes she could still be living with her first mama.  And she'd like to spend a couple of weeks with her first grandma.

Yeah, I agreed with her, it's sad and it's a bummer to be so far away from them and miss them.

She talked a little about what she'd do with them - talking, hugs, sitting on their laps and reading books.  Then we blew them kisses goodnight.  She seemed happy and relaxed as I kissed her good night, the heart ache passed for the moment.

Rosie is so clear about who she is at this moment and what she wants and needs right now.  I so deeply hope this knowledge of herself will get her through the darker days of adolescence and adulthood.

It is such a big ride for such a little girl.


hippiefemme said...

I'm new to the blog; I'm a big fan of Unshelved and your husband "released" your blog to us recently. Your stories about homeschooling are fascinating, and the insights about racial awareness are particularly interesting to me (my BA is in Sociology). I look forward to learning more about you and yours!

PNW Mama said...

sniff...I am so glad your heart has room for Rosie's birth family and that Rosie has a voice for those hurts. And I hope that she continues to share those feelings with you.