After evaluating foster-to-adopt and toddler adoption programs, we decided they are not a good fit for our family. Talking with a variety of friends and professionals, they affirmed that based on our values and life situations, fostering probably would not work out well for us. In the end, it looks like we'll be working with WACAP again, through the African American Infant program. They have a long-standing program with competent staff, effective systems and education classes.
As it turns out, I adore newborns. I could live and breath them every day and never get enough. So I'm beyond excited at the idea of bringing a new wee being into our home. My senses swell with anticipation of holding, nursing and kissing this new little person for hours and days and months.
And, I find I'm a little afraid to talk about our choice, especially on-line. Really, honestly, in my mind I believe that in a functional world, all babies belong with their first mamas. Yet here we live in this way less than perfect world and I'm about to reap this amazing relationship because of someone else's huge loss. What are people who really know and understand adoption going to think/say? How much am I part of the broken system and not part of the solution? What about all those kids in the state system who need forever families?
I don't know. I'm guessing I'll never know. I hope doing my best will be good enough for the children in my care.