In Vain

I grew up in Montana, and my family was very active in a Four Square church. Our church, which interpreted the Bible very literally, was very big on the Ten Commandments, and we were taught never to take the Lord’s name in vain. I grew up surrounded by people who were offended by the popular phrase, “Oh my God.”

20+ years later I live a very secular life in Seattle, stronghold of secular culture. I no longer flinch when I hear adults take the Lord’s name in vain, but part of me still cringes when I hear children doing it, especially little ones. Partly because much of my family still live in Montana and Wyoming and are very conservative, I’m mindful of the vocabulary I model for my children. I would hate to have our annual visit to the beloved grands and great-grands marred by a few deeply offensive words by my darling children. So I “Crumb it!”, “Darn”, “Dang”, “Fudge”, and “Heck-o-rama” with the best of them. It entertains me to try to be creative with my expressions of happiness and joy, too.

Now with that background information: everyday, twice a day, the kids and I spend an hour and a half doing the physical part of Theo’s brain growth programs. To organize them, we have each task (creeping, crawling, hopping, etc) on a page in a 3-ring binder. The children take turns flipping the pages to find out what we do next. Somehow Friday’s programs seemed to stretch deep into the late afternoon. As Theo turned the last page of the programs, onto the clean up page that indicates we are done, he declared loudly, “Glory Hallelujah!”

My immediate internal reactions:
“I have the funniest kid on earth!”
“Oh no, would praise to God from an atheist/agnostic kid be offensive in Wyoming?”
“I gotta watch what I say every minute with these kids.”
“Wow, these brain growth programs really work!”