The Penis Mom
When I was little I wanted to be a lot of things: Johnny Carson's replacement; A Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so good I was the only one on the team; an artist with my own wing at the Boston Museum of Fine Art -- you know, normal stuff. I wanted to be a lot of things, but I never -- I PROMISE you -- ever wanted to grow up to be someone known as "The Penis Mom".
But here I am.
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